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 We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4:19 NIV 


Who and what do you love?


C.S. Lewis points out how sometimes love goes awry.  Affection–a type of love–can become a tool of mass destruction–from The Four Loves:


Mrs. Fidget.  …..Mrs Fidget died. It is really astonishing how her family have brightened up.  The drawn look has gone from her husband’ face; he begins to be able to laugh….the younger boy, whom I had always thought an embittered, peevish little creature,turns out to be quite human..  Even the dog who was never allowed out except on a lead is now a well-known member of the Lamp-post Club in their Road. Mrs. Fidget very often said that she lived for her family.  And it was not untrue.  Everyone knew it.  …she did all the washing , laundry, she was living for the family, she always sat up late to wait for the family.  It was often said, she would ‘work her fingers to the bone’ for her family.  They couldn’t stop her.”  The Vicar says Mrs Fidget is now at rest.  Let us hope she is.  What’s quite certain is that her family are.


This is an example of “Gift-love”.   The fault: “…the ravenous need to be needed will gratify m either by keeping its objects needy or by inventing for them imaginary needs.  It will do this all the more ruthlessly because it thinks (in one sense truly) that it is a Gift-love and therefore regards itself as “unselfish.”


Mrs Fidget–was continually asked to send the wash out.  This enabled her to feel ill used–and it allowed her to have a CONTINUAL GRIEVANCE–to ENJOY the pleasures of RESENTMENT.  

“If anyone says he does not know those pleasures, he is a liar or a saint.” …..”Love, having become a god, becomes a demon.”


What are you loving more than you are loving Christ?  How are you enjoying the pleasure of resentment?  

**Do you ever say or infer– “I have done this for you..so you are indebted to me for this and this and this…?’  Do you have silent authority over someone that is skewed?  

***All Quotes from C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves